I met my friend Leland when he was in first grade and he came over to play with my son Henry. For six years now, we’ve been having a yearly conversation about how he’s doing and what he’s thinking about. He just finished his sophomore year at the Central Vermont Career Center in Barre, which is a technical education school. He was never big on regular school, even though he knows more about geography than I’ll ever know. Leland lives in an old farmhouse on a dirt road looking down over Pekin Brook in Calais. I drove over and I sat in my car and he sat in his truck and neither of us had a lot to say, in that way that a lot of us don’t have a lot to say right now, with so much that’s so uncertain…
“Being constrained is kind of the whole point of it.” Leland, I’m so glad you’ve found a less-constrained learning environment, and I share with you and Erica the memories of the experience. Here’s my short poem, “Why I Hate Overcoats”
When Swifty,
that sad old prick,
made me go back to my room
because the coat rule was still in effect,
I knew that future freedom
Rested on the ability to withstand the cold.
I wish a whole lot more teachers and their bosses knew how to nurture an accepting, friendly environment. I’m guessing the bigger the high school, the harder it is. Everyone wants to seem grown up and all business the more people there are.
God bless the Swifty poem.
“Pork shortage” As Leland’s Dad, I love how much I learn about my youngest child by listening in on his conversations with Erica. Luckily we ordered some Dakin Farms slab bacon, so there was no pork shortage at our house (for a little while anyway).
Thank you Erica and thank you Leland for having this conversation every year and letting us all listen in.
I learned some things about what my son must have experienced in high school. And it’s cool that you have the awareness of what’s going on under the surface in high school. That you are all trying to survive. It’s sad when people can’t trust each other because it feels risky survival wise. And yeah I think the teachers and administration could try more to change that. Maybe they are afraid to take the risks too. That’s got to change.
Thanks to Leland for offering such calmly clear insights. I always perk up when I realize he will be part of the conversation.
“What is really obvious to you about what I don’t understand about being 15?” What an amazing question. It would have been great if someone asked me that at 15. There’s almost no way you’re not going to have a meaningful discussion out of that.
Hello Leland!
Your conversations with Erica are among my most favourite of her shows, and this latest one is no exception.
Throughout the years, you’ve impressed me with your perceptiveness, and the succinct and precise way that your express how you see and understand the life you are living. Sometimes it’s as if you are presiding high above your life, watching yourself while you’re living it.
High school is a lonely, baffling experience for pretty much everyone. It’s a crucible, and you’re probably right that this is the whole point of it. Finding real friends there is rare, as you’ve observed, and most “friendships” are more like alliances.
So it goes in the crucible. All I can say is: hang in there, trust your best instincts, and stay open to love—life gets better on the other side.
With a handshake across the continent,
Thomas
El Cerrito, California
Hi Leland –
I grew up in Morrisville. Listening to you talk on this weeks episode makes me feel like I’m back in the woods between my backyard and Copley Gold Course in the fort we built from scrap wood and things found in the woods. I miss my childhood friend Matt and the safety of the woods. Thanks for your earnest answers and your honest.