People often assume the Joslyn House is a nursing home, probably because a lot of old people live there. But it’s not a nursing home. It’s not assisted living. There’s no anonymous art on the wall. It’s not licensed by the state. It’s a house. It’s a a place where up to twenty older people live independently together…in a huge, elegant house furnished with their own things. There’s socializing when you want it, silence when you don’t, there’s sociable silence… there are three beautiful meals served a day. Residents are given a room, and rent is 1500 dollars a month.
I can’t believe every town doesn’t have a Joslyn House…a place in your own town where you can help each other as you get older. Where you don’t have to worry about cooking, where if you’re lonely at night there‘s someone to talk to, or sit with. In other words, a civilized place. A place where love is evident…
Credits
Thanks to all the residents who talked with me, and the beautiful Arlene and Becky Wright, managers of the house.
My friend Kelly Green produced this show with me. She’s great at this PLUS she’s a great defense attorney! If you’re in trouble, call Kelly!
Click here for more information on the Joslyn House
The song for this show is A Wave in the Air by The Imperfectionists, from their latest album, Universal Consent.
And my frickin ALL TIME FAVORITE IMPERFECTIONIST SONG: Astroplane.
Sponsor!
This show is sponsored by the excellent people at Honey Road, making the best food in Burlington on the corner of Church and Main. Click on the picture and check out the menu…
That was beautiful and a real eye opener great job many thanks for that cast and many thanks to Arlene and becky and all staff and residents .Brought tears to my eyes
Erica, you truly captured the essence of the place and the spirit of the wonderful people there. They do an amazing job of caring for each other. Love is evident indeed. Great job!
Beautiful story ~ anyone near Portland Maine ~ ?
YOu mean….a place like Joslyn House? A resident?
Absolutely beautiful episode, Erica. Thanks for being such a good listener (and empathetic producer).
Thank you for taking the time to write in Alan…!
Well done. Captured the essence of the house, but also the importance of building community based on caring and love and just holding the space to “be”. Important to get this model of community living out there. Thanks.
A very moving and touching episode. Perfectly done!
Really lovely. I live in a *tiny* town in Maine and can’t help but believe a place like this would be a blessing to us here.
Thank you Arlene for all that you did for David and for all that the community he lived in at Joslyn House meant to him . You are a remarkable person who brings so much to so many.
Bob
One of his friends
Thank you for posting, Bob!
What a poignant piece is “Joslyn House”—on a subject that haunts so many minds (like mine): how will we live when we’re old?
Your story feels to me like a sober soulful celebration of an oasis for our elders at the ends of their roads. I love the way the show starts: with the dreamy voice of a brightminded lady asking about the making of the show that she herself is part of. (I like her later jag too, speaking about the news in the newspapers rustling in the hands of her housemates…)
The piece reveals itself patiently, and conjures awakening through remembering—listening, I felt as if a dream I’ve always been living was being revealed me; I was seeing it while I was hearing it…
Such memorable moments along the way…a man tickled to chuckles by the memory of his having to share a bathroom for the first time in his life—at the end of his life…his later description of life as a mountain climb…a woman’s gentle rhapsody on how she fell in love with coffee…another woman’s singing of “Yes We Have No Bananas” while a rock band wails that love is a wave in the air…
Thank you for such a careful listen Thomas, and for taking the time to respond. I appreciate it and the people in the show appreciate it. I too am haunted by the question of what it will mean to be old, and I felt SO encouraged by what I saw at Joslyn House.
I was deeply impressed by the heart felt comments by a few proud folks who made their choice for Joslyn House because they did not want to live alone, but, more poignant, not wanting to live lonely. That is an insidious problem with the elderly. Too often they try to stay fiercely independent too long, get too lonely , health suffers and by the time they are ready to move to a group setting, they are beyond the point of being able to appreciate the new connections such facilities offer. So, way to go, Joslyn House, for encouraging elders to make the decision to stay engaged in more timely fashion. And, way to go, Erica, for stimulating the tough conversation.
Thank you for listening so thoughtfully Jerry…
The Joslyn House is the greatest place, this was amazing. My stepmother died at the Joslyn, so grateful for Arlene to let us bring her from the hospital to what she called home for a long long time. Hospice came in and family members where able to stay with her. Just like the story arlene was talking about, didn’t matter how many were there, the home was always considerate of us. Always making sure we had what we needed etc. Thank you for doing this, it was wonderful.
Erica,
This podcast captures almost everything that I have come to think about social connection as we age and what we need to do to have more socially connected communities. I changed careers to help solve the staggering burden of loneliness on older adults and on the system that cares for them. For the last couple of years I have been going on and on to whomever I could get to listen about building a new infrastructure of community that is authentic, appropriate and supportive without having any idea what it could look like. I think for many communities it looks like Joslyn House. The story about the man who died with his friends coming and playing music and everyone celebrating and supporting him captures it all. Authenticity, independence, support. I also loved the story about the man learning to share a bathroom—the accommodations we will make to maintain our independence and dignity as long as we get to make the choice.
I was also struck by the bravery of the people who overcame stigma to move to Joslyn House in order to make their lives valuable to themselves. It reminded me of the great admonition “If I am not for myself who will be? If I am only for myself what am I?”
Since listening to the podcast I keep thinking about how can my company (Klaatch) and our partners, clients and collaborators make room for people to be brave and choose community?
Thank you for this gift.
Adam, I apologize for the time it took me to publish your comment, and it’s a great comment. ‘If I am not for myself who will be? If I am only for myself what am I’? Just about perfect. I keep thinking about this show, and thinking how so often these inspired projects start with a very inspired person like Arlene…and how rare people like Arlene are. I want this option for myself down the road but I’m not willing to do the work of organizing a place like Joslyn House yet…the years and money and meetings and organization it would require. It’s a quandary. A big one.
Wow–Erica, I can’t thank you enough for this episode. I loved every minute. I wish the founders of Joslyn House had the time and inclination to franchise their vision/model. We need about a million of these places. Anyway, may the sun shine down on you today for bringing this story forward!
My thoughts exactly Joan. I want a Joslyn house for myself one day but I balk at the prospect of organizing it. I think a LOT of us feel that way. It’s so….SOLVABLE. But unsolved….
I just want to live in a beautiful house with good people, in my own community, and access to nurses when I need them. Why is this so rare?
I think you can just live at JH with me, Erica.
I just loved listening to this episode. I grew up in Randolph and my mom has talked about Joslyn House for years, but despite that, I hadn’t fully understood what the house is– basically voluntary communal living for elders. The part about David who died at Joslyn House was particularly moving. I also find Erica’s skill with collating her material so masterful– the ending of the oranges part was so funny I laughed aloud while cooking dinner. Thank you Erica for bringing the state I grew up in so much closer to me in London, and for teaching me more about the human condition at the same time.
Thanks to tears, for this one, Erica.
My Grandmother was my housemate when I was at VTC, until she had a series of TIAs. After a brief stay at Gifford, I moved her to Joslyn House, which became her home, and my second home, for many years. I stopped by last fall to visit a perennial which was planted there in her honor, and visited with Becky for a while. I didn’t get to see Arlene and Al, so your show was a lovely reminder of how lucky we were to have been in the Randolph area when our time of need arose.
Todd, thank you SO much for writing this. It’s really nice to hear from a Joslyn alum. That place is MAGIC.
Magic, indeed, and like heaven when a musician passes.
It’s a place I would be lucky to retire to, but before I do, it sounds like there is a desire for more places like this to be created – if in fact such magic can be replicated.
Yeah. Becky and Arlene are a huge part of what makes that place magic, and you can’t just replicate that. BUT…you can learn a lot from it and TRY to replicate some of it. Or tease out what they value: what they hold lightly, what they have a sense of humor about, take seriously. There’s a lot of information in the way they ARE.
Loved the story. My mom has found a new love at 79, and this story made me realize how wonderful that is. We will celebrate her at thanksgiving!